Benjamin Gallagher

Queer Orlando Lifestyle Blog

BoyKitsch™️ earned 200+ views on his Go-go Audition video! Eye on the prize, everyone!  Is he a writer or just THOT Number 3? Maybe both? Did anyone see this coming? Well, maybe the parents did when they noticed the bills piling up.

Honestly, no one is more proud of me than Mom and Dad. They’re the first ones to cheer me on in life. From cradle to the dance floor, wherever I go they follow with free spirits. Growing up, their influence affected me in school, specifically the Elementary years.

“Stop trying to help me,” kids told me. The teachers placed me in a room with two classmates. I assisted mates with homework ranging from math to language arts. No one wanted my help.

“I’m not trying. I am,” the words rolled off my tongue. Now, I take a second to think about that moment when empathy and ego collided. My parents taught me to value other people’s perspectives. But other people couldn’t define empathy for me. Only I knew the difference between “trying” and “helping”.

“Thank you,” the girls said to me after every session. Similarly, I didn’t care if people defined my actions as “attention-seeking” as opposed to being vulnerable when deciding to become a Go-go dancer. So when the views reached 200 I felt not only happy but also fulfilled.


Thank you, everyone, who has been supporting me the past couple of months. Your love reassures my value in coming forth as a Queer individual with mental health challenges. With all my heart, thank you.

Love,

BoyKitsch™️

When: November 2019

Where: Parliament House

Who: Go-go Boy

Last Friday, I auditioned for a Go-go Boy position at Parliament House. Dancing on a box in a pair of Andrew Christian underwear brought a smile to my face. The experience taught me about Confidence. img_9046

Yes, I felt insecure during the audition. My body could represent only the Freedom that the moment possessed. Erratic beats unraveled limbs from the torso. I became a Go-go dancer.

“Let me see that booty hole,” a man shouted. His voice bounced off my ass. I turned around and leaned closer to him. He slipped a five-dollar bill into my underwear.

Men, like everyone else, wanted attention from a sexy Queer Latino. I fulfilled that fantasy because no one else could. No one else could be my kind of sex. Hip thrusts, leg splits, and pecs flexing measured the seconds ticking through the night. Who wanted to touch me?


I’ve been celibate for the past year and two months. The unintentional decision sparked an opportunity to rediscover Desire. I wanted men to see me. I wanted their hands on my body. On my bulge. Their lust made me happy. And I couldn’t ask for a better job.

Thank you, everyone, for reading my blog. Please share it with others. Leave thoughtful comments. I only ever wanted to be this person. Your love and support mean so much to me.

Until next time,

BoyKitsch™

Dear Venus87,

Today, I found your blog post “six rules for the gay gogo boy”. It inspired me to read your other LiveJournal entries. Your frustration sparked old embers inside me. We could have burned a lot of bridges together. So maybe it’s good that we were so far apart.

See, I was angry at the world until this year. Therapy and medication helped me to become a happier person, who just began their adventure as a Go-go dancer. I wanted this opportunity since High School.

I’m twenty-nine years old now, so living out that dream feels fantastic. I am living a life of intentional decisions. However, hearing myself describe this sensation to people is concerning to the Old Me.

Because Old Me wouldn’t have walked in the Pride Parade with his shirt off. He wouldn’t have known how to say “hello” to strangers without feeling remorse. He wanted to be defined without knowing which language to speak first. I am still him but wiser.

Thank you, Venus87 for your advice on Go-go dancing. All I ever want to do is help make people happy. And to get paid. And there’s no shame in that. I hope you found happiness somewhere.

Sincerely,

BoyKitsch™

Disclaimer: This post contains an element of BDSM. However, this story is not necessarily about sex. If you are interested in BDSM then please find someone responsible. Safety first! 


When: September 2019

Where: Orlando

Who: BoyKitsch™

The Dominant placed three ropes on the living room floor. I would look great in a harness. The fantasy sparked excitement inside my chest, unleashing a blue blaze from the pit of desire. I submitted myself to the experience.

“Who wants to be tied up first?” the Dominant said. My arm shot up in the air. Four other people waited behind me. The Universe drew us together out of Orlando. We stood as participants in the BDSM world.

 

 

 

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“Get down,” the Dominant said. “If at any point you feel uncomfortable, tell me. I have a knife here to release you. I’d rather not cut the ropes. But will.” I nodded and kneeled on the purple carpet.

The rope squeezed me, forging a mental barrier between breaths and compulsions. OCD ruled my life until this moment. I withdrew that choice from The Universe. Anything could happen now.


My OCD started at age six. I sat in front of a television set when the first compulsion happened. My lungs needed to explode. This need became essential to the constant human experience of being me. But now that no longer felt true.

Because OCD broke me in the summer of 2016. I watched it shatter my reflection with the click of a finger on the trigger of a gun. Fantastical terrors floated through the pieces. I never saw Benjamin P. Gallagher, again.

Benjamin P. Gallagher, the boy kept safe in his childhood bedroom, no longer existed. Along with him disappeared a thousand other assumptions about my life. Could I still have kids? Am I still a good person? Is this a feeling of empathy or self-actualization? How many other people live inside of me? Who is the real me?

From those thoughts, I sewed together two edges of an untold truth, a version of self came to life. The person absolved me. I was free to explore Desire, again. I found a group of people who watched the Dominant wrap me in rope. I was delivered to the unknown based on the principle of lust. The choice empowered me.

“I wanted this for the longest time,” I said to the Dominant. He rested on the floor. We spent the last hour experimenting with motion. My body pressed against the ropes. I wanted to feel this all the time. Freedom.


Thank you, everyone, for reading my blog! Please leave thoughtful comments and don’t forget to subscribe!

Until next time,

BoyKitsch™

When: August 2019

Where: Orlando

Who: BoyKitsch™

“Try on anything,” David, a slender blonde man said to me. He sat at the vanity brushing mascara onto his eyelashes. I rested on his bed sorting through eyeshadow pallets, searching for one to match my leopard print shirt. Our friendship grew from occasional meetings around Orlando, Florida. Now we shared make-up before heading out to the City Arts gallery. 

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“Just play. Let’s play,” David said and got up to pour me a drink. I carried the pallets over to a dresser where a pair of black Christian Louboutin shoes stood. David handed me a cold pink glass. 

“When did you start wearing heels?” I said, setting the pallets down. 

“A couple of years ago,” David went to the closet and pulled out a pair of silver stilettos. The shoes accented his pants which the late Harriet Lake wore. Both people embodied the creative force of self-expression. Their presence reignited a passion inside me.

Since adolescence, my Anima spirit sought guidance from idols such as Lady Gaga and Alexander McQueen. Their presence inspired me to pursue a Fine Arts degree. But without friends, I misinterpreted anger for love, unable to decipher the lexicon of dreams written by a genius enigma. The only difference between myself back then and now was David. 

“I always wanted to wear heels,” I said and took a sip from the cup. David invited me to try on the Christian Louboutin shoes. The blood red shank drew my hand to the cold patent leather. A single touch reconnected me to the Anima spirit. 


If you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend! As a Queer writer, I want to know what you like to read about concerning the LGBTQ community. Which LGBTQ topics do you want to read? Leave a comment below.

Until Next Time,

BoyKitsch™

When: October 18, 2019

Where: Discover Downtown

Who: Sunshine Boy

Thank You, David Lawrence Photography for capturing the excitement of Immerse 2019! I’m grateful for the opportunity to expose a happier version of myself. Now, on to the story!


Sunshine

Photo by David Lawrence Photography

“I want to laugh at myself,” I said to David.

“Yeah, you seem like you have a lot of playful energy. And I’m ready for it!” David said and walked me over to the studio. A dozen people looked on to the set. Their eyes twinkled with laughter as the lights flashed. Or so I imagined.

I waited a long time to feel this good about myself. No, let me correct that statement. I worked really hard to feel this good about myself. The storms passed but not without someone there to hold the umbrella. Through rain and shine, God preserved a piece of myself to give back to the world.

I called this person, Sunshine Boy.

“Your photos came out awesome,” Alexis said. The two of us met thirty-minutes-ago while standing in line for David Lawrence. Her enthusiasm reminded me of a Cyndi Lauper song called, “Shine”.

In time, I learned to love myself. Some wounds never healed from the trauma of the summer in 2016. Pulse and OCD shattered my sense of humor. But in time those wounds became a portal to another world. Sunshine Boy lived there without guilt or shame. That’s where I’m headed. Somewhere over the rainbow.


Thank you, everyone, for reading my blog! If you enjoyed this adventure then please hit the “like” button and leave a comment! Don’t forget to subscribe <3

Until next time,

BoyKitsch

When: October 18, 2019

Where: Downtown Orlando

Who: BoyKitsch

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The Creative City Project hosted Immerse 2019, an annual interactive artistic event in Downtown Orlando from 10/18 to 10/19.

I walked to Orange Avenue while listening to “Hung Up” by Madonna. The song perfectly described my attitude towards life. I allowed so many opportunities to pass by before taking antidepressants. Now I wanted nothing more than to revel in every second of life!

First, I stopped by the Information Center where people waited in line for a photo by David Lawrence. He wanted to give others an honest and beautiful representation of themselves through photography.  Check out his page for more info!

“Do you watch American Horror Story?” I said to Alexis. The two of us met five minutes ago while standing in line for David Lawrence. Our conversation ranged from Veganism to television shows and rage.

“I’m still learning how to let go of my anger,” Alexis said. Due to a car accident,  she lost the opportunity to start competing in Bodybuilding Competitions. A careless driver offset the balance Alexis felt in life. Her loss reminded me of art school. img_8151

After failing to get into Cooper Union I struggled with rage. A fire consumed me from the inside out. Nothing mattered more than escaping Florida. I ran away more than once, never getting far before turning around. The fire followed me everywhere until the cool hand of forgiveness came out of nowhere!

“It’s really great that you’re talking about this,” I said. “No one told me to forgive myself. It took a long time until failure didn’t matter anymore.” Every word floated out of my mouth. Regret no longer held integrity down. I felt free to enjoy the rest of Immersion.

After taking the portrait shot I visited a couple of light installations. Funnily enough, Synthestruct built the piece you see in the picture above! Click here to see the first one in a previous post!

This one is called “Intraspection” and represented a Queer vortex of light and love for me to jump in! Self-acceptance made me into BoyKitsch. The person without a proper pronoun or version of success. I am not without thanks to God and the universe for making all things possible! <3


Thank You for reading! Also, Thank You Creative City Project for giving Orlando the opportunity to connect with others. I am so grateful to have met Alexis and for this time of self-reflection. If you’re still reading please leave a thoughtful comment and subscribe to my blog!

Until next time,

BoyKitsch

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“Kitsch Heart”

by

Benjamin Gallagher

 

The human heart pulls destiny out of God’s back pocket. It falls back to Earth to find a quiet corner in South Florida. The plan unfolds on papyrus paper once held by the Daughter of Re. Fingerprints outline an unanswered prayer. The heart wonders why God would ignore such a request.

Stars twinkle above the Atlantic Ocean where the heart searches for the first sign of destiny. “I hear you,” the heart says to the waves. A baby cries out from across the water. Angels float over the beach towards the beating heart.

“It’s time,” the angels say and scoop the heart out of the sand. The angels fly through tidal waves and Euro’s warm breath until finding the infant crying in the wake of dawn. The heart leaps out of the angels’ hands. The baby stops crying.

Two pairs of brown eyes stare into each other. The baby laughs. The heart smiles. Their company brings together a family unlike any other in history. This is the story of my mother and me.


 

Thank you, everyone, for reading my blog! Please subscribe and leave thoughtful comments. Also, follow my Instagram at BoyKitsch.

Love,

Benjamin Gallagher

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“Kitsch Modern”

By

Benjamin Gallagher

“There’s no such thing as original content anymore!” Art Provocateurs tell me. We stand in the center of a bustling art gallery. People marvel over the twinkling ornaments hanging on each of the four walls. I roll my eyes.

“Art isn’t meant to be original,” I remind them. The AP’s laugh together, a thunderous clap that shakes the room, before walking out of the gallery. I hug myself to calm the rattling bones. Other people continue to observe and smile at the artwork.

Six years ago, I hung my first piece of art in a college studio. The room glowed with pride. My piece portrayed nothing of significant importance. Neither history, politics, gender, or beauty affected the painted glass bottles. I smiled at the portrait. The feeling outgrew the studio. It stretched three hundred miles in every direction. The painting glistened like a beauty mark in East Florida.

I touch the mole on my face and smile. The AP’s might know something about originality. They might even create such things. But not me. I’m content with being ignorant. I’m happy not knowing what the future holds.


This photo was taken by the amazing artist Ginger Leigh aka Synthestruct at Snap! Orlando. I altered the image using Enlight Pixaloop.

Expect more videos like this on my blog!

Thanks again for following me! Keep creating your masterpieces, friends!

Love,

BoyKitsch

“Queer Kitsch”

Thank you @etoileboutique for helping me style this outfit! Your presence in the Central Florida area provides Queer people the opportunity to feel more like themselves. I am one of those people. I am this way because of the Anima spirit.

I am this beautiful queer soul who will continue to create art. The universe put me here for a reason. Let the stars explode. Smash together the planets again and again. I will create a new dimension for all of us to live in. Because that is the power of the Anima. That is the power of being me.

Thank you to all my followers! Your support continues to surprise me. I never thought to become this person. You are my true love.

Queer Forever,

BoyKitsch

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog!